her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
