I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
