I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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