there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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