Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
