Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
