the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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