i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
