i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
