Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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