so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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