I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
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