Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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