Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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