my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
