one might say we're banned from that church
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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