Don't you send me to vm
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
