So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
