so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
this boner is exhausting
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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