What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
