Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
