It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
