This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
