I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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