It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
