every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm at about main and main street
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
