Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
