i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
