he thought i was a dude.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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