all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
