BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
