I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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