Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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