operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
