I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize