You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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