You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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