Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
