How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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