It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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