First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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