This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Randomize
