you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
How external is "for external use only"?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
