From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
