Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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