If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
