i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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