its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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