and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
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