Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
