I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize