I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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