mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
