every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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