no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
