you win again, gameday.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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