Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
