the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
you made out with another girl for some wings
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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