Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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