yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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