I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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