They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
