i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
